Wasted vacation with children. Should teenagers go on vacation with their parents?

Some time ago, we described the story of Mrs. Anna, who was careful that she unnecessarily spent 20,000 zlotys on a trip with her husband and daughters to Turkey. The daughters were arguing, she was tired.

– Who needs such a vacation? None of the four were satisfied with the trip. In my opinion, we only lost 20,000. PLN, and it was the worst vacation in my life – said our heroine.

You will find Anna’s story here.

Joanna wrote to our editorial office, who also decided that she had wasted her vacation taking her son with her:

“It’s true that he didn’t want to come with us, but he is only 15! I don’t think that a kid at this age should put conditions on his parents. In my house it was unimaginable. My parents decided where and when we went to a joint vacation, my sister and I had nothing to say. We liked these trips, although they were spent in cheap resorts or camping. Every year we try to organize one trip abroad to a nice hotel. But today’s youth will not be happy, I would beat my heels with happiness. if I had such a vacation at my son’s age. But he is not interested in it. “

You can read here letter.

So what to do in such situations? Should a teenager decide about his or her trips, or should he spend his time as his parents want? Bea thinks it was nothing by force:

“I raised 3 children. It is not a lot. I made a lot of mistakes because I come from a dysfunctional family myself, but unlike my mother, I asked the children what they wanted. This letter shows one thing. The parents decided that their son should be delighted, because he spends his vacation in a good hotel The author refers to his childhood. Maybe if she negotiated a compromise with him instead of taking her son on vacation, the young one would probably be more pleased. My daughters once went to a summer camp in Italy. 2 weeks I was dying of fear if nothing bad happened to them there. Son, at the age of 12, went to a winter camp in the mountains. He was the youngest participant. For me, these trips, although I stayed at home, cost a lot of stress. The kids came back happy every time. already adults, they were 19 years old, my son 15 years old, I said, who wants to go to the Polish seaside for a few days. It was closed, so we had some adventures during this trip, but surprisingly everyone came back satisfied. My son ran with me in the morning and was furious that he was losing and his joy when he defeated me … He also managed to meet a beautiful-eyed girl, so after 2 days I was left alone, because the children were disappearing. Perhaps loving parents should not assume that what they love will make their children happy. When we were returning by train, I asked if anyone regretted leaving. There were no dissatisfied. Vacation is the same as everything else. Some are delighted with football, the other prefer the cinema, and the third – the opera. It is the same with vacation, one loves peace, tranquility, forest, water and nature. And the other one wants to visit. If, for the sake of peace or the good of the family, we decide to go on vacation, we must take into account that we will be dissatisfied. Sometimes it’s better to send your family on vacation and stay home and enjoy the peace. And plan your vacation shorter, but to suit your taste … “

Mila, who emphasizes that we are not very good at raising children, is of a similar opinion:

“Referring to Ms Joanna’s statement, I have the impression that the greatest regret concerns my own discomfort, money, the inability to enjoy summer fun and, of course, the opinion of strangers who were on this vacation. times … “or” when I was a child … “has its raison d’ĂȘtre more or less like the words” always “and” never. “These are completely different times, a completely different way of raising children and a completely different reality and related problems Secondly – a visit to a psychologist (as I understand, Ms Joanna presented her point of view, without her son taking part in the conversation), although of course it is a beginning, it is not authoritative. The specialist heard only what the parent sees and feels, and that for not enough to get to the root of the problem, and there are millions of them. family relationships, unidentified anxieties, first love. The reasons can also be very trivial (according to adults, of course), such as a disgust with vegetables or a complex related to the presence of freckles on the face, but my professional experience shows that children have the most problems due to an unstable family situation. My observation is that parents manage to raise their children until they are 10-11 years old, and then when the child begins to change rapidly and unpredictably, the gap between the two worlds is slammed. Children stop being children and adults don’t know what to do with it. Screams, resentments, pressure and restraints start. Unfortunately, it is often a time of marriage crises and everything goes headlong. This is a separate topic. Should teenagers go on vacation with their parents? Ideally, they just want to do it. “

Barbara, however, is of the opinion that underage children should spend holidays with their parents: “Our sons were well informed that up to the age of 18, whether they like it or not, they must go on vacation with us. the decision was the fact of legal responsibility for them and the fact that in the event of a sudden deterioration in health and, for example, the need for urgent surgery, parents must consent to it and be there, and not, for example, in Turkey. , but they accepted it out of necessity. However, just after our 18th birthday, there was no strength for them to go with us. But now, with a clear conscience, my husband and I are experiencing a second youth. “

As you can see, it is difficult to unequivocally resolve the problem. In fact, it would be ideal if teenagers simply wanted to go on vacation with their parents.

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